i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
