i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
