He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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