Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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