Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
