do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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