Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
