rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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