she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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