Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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