Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my shit smells like andre
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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