He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize