this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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