jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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