why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
