is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
