her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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