you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
