are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
