see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
