He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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