yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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