i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
