so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
