I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
