"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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