fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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