hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
