Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
