i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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