Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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