Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize