Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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