its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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