We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Alive.
So much puke
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
