I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize