I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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