have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize