do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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