the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
