Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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