what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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