Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
