doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
