The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
