I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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