you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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