I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize