Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
