It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
