do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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