you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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