you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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