These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
