I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
