I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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