The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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