You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize