i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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