I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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