rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize