never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
