I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
