i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize