hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
