I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
