can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
